1. |
Stringmachine
02:51
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Tap into that apathy
With denim-based success
if someone asks you if you're a god
You tell them yes
Tap into that afterglow
Before the ache sets in
I'm a friend with benefits
Made of the thickest skin
Its about time you grew a spine
You show me yours, i'll show you mine
Tap into the novelty
You're a stranger here
You should only be concerned
With stage times & beer
But make sure you look the part
Those cheekbones on parade
But for the love of Kurt
Don't admit you're clichéd
Its about time you grew a spine
You show me yours, i'll show you mine
Its about time you grew a spine
Trade your sap in for turpentine
Dead horses come alive
Like Peter Frampton
You know me
I'm a sucker for a tired idea
Spreading the gift of song
Gift-wrapped in gonorrhea
Strap on the stringmachine
I'm gonna force your hand
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2. |
Misadventure Time
02:12
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Not a man known to go off half-cocked
Johnny Protagony packs his bags and box
Too hot, too cold, no inbetween
Because in Spain, no-one can hear you scream
No you can't have it both ways
No you can't you can't be trusted
Go go go go go!
Party for one
Sounds way more fun
We don't go outdoors
We walk on all-fours
Go go gadget antisocial habits
Now I'm not a man known to make idle boasts
But the dialogue was worthy of Hollyoaks
Your spine's an HR Giger crutch
When you mess with The Misanthrope Who Just Cared Too Much
No you can't have it both ways
No you can't you can't be trusted
New brand new compass
Seized up and rusted
No I can't
I can't be trusted
We don't go outdoors
We walk on all fours
Go go gadget antisocial habits
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3. |
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2 unemployed, ex-Disney Club actors in a penthouse in Camden
Between auditions and
Lipsyncing to their latest chart hit
They find a spaceship
A timeless friendship
A timeless friendship built on spaceships
and product placement
And the skies go dark
And the oceans boil
The claw of Adam Sandler
Reaches up from the soil
This summer
Nicholas Cage
In a coming-of-age heart-warmer
See how he smiles
See how he overcomes
And, scene
The friends plan a vacation
Twenty Macdonalds locations
In existential terror
Private villas in the country
Pillow fights with Uncle Monty
Then a dance-off
(I demand to have some juice)
This summer
A focus group-led
Rehashed reboot of your childhood
The same great taste of nostalgia
But with all those boring feelings
Swapped-out for Elijah Wood
Or how about a robot with a catchphrase
Maybe voiced by the sarcastic one from Friends
This summer
This summer
This
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4. |
Puppy Power
02:32
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Suspend your disbelief until this
song has ground to a halt
To think that one man
could use his time so
But it's really not his fault
I'm the nostalgia the public feel for
Cartoons from their childhood
But let me tell you
Never once has
Scooby Doo been good
Even as a child of ten years old
I could recognise
That their heart just wasn't in it
And even they knew the limits
Of Dick Van Dyke cameos
And just like tiedye
Kiss-chase and discos
It was one of those things
To kid yourself that you're a fan of
But it never brings you joy
Even as a child of ten years old
I could recognise
That they were in serious trouble
With the nephew and the uncle
And Dick Van Dyke cameos
3 Stooges cameos
Mark Hamil cameos
Fred Flintstone cameos
A talking dog on your child's lunchbox
A drug addict on his pencil case
And it's not even funny
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5. |
Amateur Dramatics
03:37
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Between the English
And all of that maths
You'll find a soft spot for
Well-dressed sociopaths
Between pop science
Between medical trials
You'll find your killer
In a range of aspirational hairstyles
Grab a handful
See what sticks
Like amateur dramatics
One language you can't speak
With stolen wisdom teeth
When your act turns to wood
The best defense is a good
Out a big mouth will fall
Words you don't mean at all
The best defense is a good
defense
Don't let them catch you breathing out
One language you can't speak
With stolen wisdom teeth
When your act turns to wood
The best defense is a good
Out a big mouth will fall
Words you don't mean at all
When your act turns to wood
When want turns into should
The best defence is a good
defence
They say
Plenty more fish out in the sea
Each with a dose of mercury
Take note of how much you can stand
Cause chemicals can't hold your hand
Plenty more fish out in in the sea
But I can't help but to disagree
No amount of self-aware clichés
Replace the one that got away
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6. |
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Please sign this waiver
Please sign this release
White goods, aisle 5 and 6
Next to the police
He always knew it
It was s a matter of time
People like you are only people part-time
Take and you shall receive
Surrender thumbprints and initial here
Where to you see yourself in 8 to 10 years?
He always said it was a matter of trust
And people like you, they will just need to adjust
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7. |
Inside Nature's Giants
02:00
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Fifty-five feet long
Nearly fifty tonnes
Grandchild of the cow
Baleen, take a bow
Inside they find
Pieces of a former life
Deep inside
Pushed aside
Deep inside
Unattached to the pelvis
I never knew that I never knew
I never knew that I never
I never knew that I never knew
I never knew that before
Coast of County Cork
Bipeds stop to gawk
Grandchild of the cow
Vestigial leg, don't fail me now
I never knew that I never knew
I never knew that I never
I never knew that I never knew
I never knew that before
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8. |
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Wait just one second
I think i've heard this one before
The best shampoos, the shit tattoos
The Virginia Woolf at your door
Chained in the attic, under the floor
Can't burn down houses without a spark
When the good parts only come out after dark
Can't rebuild bridges With handfuls of plasticine
Or hardcore body art
Crowdfunded by your dad
A scratch, a tickle
Back of the throat
Is it normal to get travelsick
On the love boat?
[OF ALL THE GUT FEELINGS
YOUR GUT HAS EVER FELT
WHICH ONES WERE INDIGESTION
WHICH ONES START BELOW THE BELT
OF ALL THE STOCKHOLM SYNDROMES
YOU'VE EVER HANDED-OUT
WHICH WAS YOUR ALL-TIME FAVOURITE
WHICH ONE WAS BEST]
Can't burn down houses without a spark
When the good parts only c-c-c-come out after dark
No-one is owner of their own biology
But don't confuse love
With an iron deficiency
Or hardcore body art
Crowdfunded by your dad
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9. |
Peacocking
02:49
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I made my claws sharp
I made my wings wide
I did it all for you
Look at these canines
Molars, incisors
I've got the whole 9 yards
But life's so mundane
Top of the foodchain
When every chase is catch
What good's a blood supply
Without the blood demand
What good's a blood supply
Twist and pout
With your tongue stuck out
It's your alibi
We bend and swell
And pose until
We're satisfied
It's your alibi
I made my eyes big
I made my skin taut
Tonight I'm shifting shape
But brief eye-contact
Is not a contract
Get out of my gene pool
Saturday night
The eyeballs roll right back
The noise, the heat
The gnashing of teeth
What good's a blood supply
Without the blood demand
Twist and pout
With your tongue stuck out
Its your alibi
We bend and swell
And pose until
We're satisfied
Pick the corpses clean
Like a bone machine
Pick the corpses clean
With your eyes drawn on
With a wax crayon
With your eyes drawn on
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10. |
Honey From Ants
04:41
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Sit down, let's make a list
List out all the things you can do
That's good, that's really good
I've got positions for you
Spread eagle, semi-legal
I've got positions for you
Katie: Queen of the barren North
Katie, I could make these beds
But Katie, I cant stand the sound
Of your war-cry
(Shhh, I'm learnin')
Sometimes it's like getting
blood out of a Rolling Stone
Sometimes it's like getting
honey from ants
I've practised the punchline
again and again
But don't understand
the joke
I went back
Back to school
Despite the odds
My barre chord heroes
Have daytime jobs
Is it so childish
Is it so wrong
To nail your hopes to
Half-written songs?
This dancing bear
Has learned the steps
And what would I do with
Power money, or respect?
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Casa Bonita London, UK
"The lolloping riffs of the Melvins, Future of the Left and the Jesus Lizard, filtered through the syrupy pop bladders of the Monkees"
-No-one (2016)
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